gotta get this down

I’m often overwhelmed with how much “bad” is in the world.  I love learning about the world and how it operates, and in turn I learn about all of the injustices we’ve created.  I’m so thankful for being able to spend time reading books, watching the pbs news, and watching documentaries to discover what is not force-fed to us through the mainstream media.  In recent months I’ve learned about global warming, politics, war, city sprawl, the media, corporations, starvation, Wal-Mart, gang life, lonliness, minimum-wage work life, and being homeless.  When I think about all of the injustice that comes with these issues, especially in the context of Jesus’ plan for the redemption of this world, I often lose hope.  I don’t see how we can fulfill God’s plan for us, and I can’t comprehend how I can make this world a better place.  My wonderful wife knows how grumpy and sad I get when I think too much about these things; I tell her that I want to give up and that I want to become ignorant of what I know.

When I get all upset with the problems of this world, I think that I’m encountering my own problem of pride/selfishness.  I’m not sure if those are good descripters of the issue, but what I feel is that somehow I can and should be redeeming all of the worlds problems; I feel that I’m falling short of what I should be doing to help this world.  What I’m forgetting is that there are millions of other people in this world whose God’s hand has touched to feel compassion for all of the injustices in this world.  It’s not just me - how silly I can be.

I’m forever thankful for all of the amazing people in this world who act as to show they legitimately care about other people, and sometimes more than about themselves - because Jesus was probably the only person to ever care about other people more than himself - yeah.

I’m devoting my working life - at least this current portion of it - to the redemption of our earth’s natural environment.  But I’m thankful for all of the people who do more to better the environment than I do, and for all of the thousands or millions of people who devote their working and volunteering hours to combat disease, poverty, corporate and media power, hunger, violence, selfish international policy, and especially the spread of Wal-Mart.

Thanks for the promting me to write my friends! I had pretty much forgotten that I had a blog. Wow! Neat! I can write on the internet! I remember this!

I have a hard time with keeping up a blog because I really really don’t like to write. I think that I don’t totally refuse to write because I want to learn how to enjoy writing. I’d love to be a serious blogger, and be able to write really quickly…and…excellently, but honestly, each sentence I write is painful and takes…a very long time. I don’t know if I’ll ever like to express my thoughts via typed words, but we’ll see; I at least have to give it a shot, yeah?

I’d like to take this opportunity to publicly proclaim what I may like to write about in future blogs. This is actually just me making a list so that I won’t forget.

1) God Grew Tired of Us 2) Relating in Chicago 3) My former job 4) My new job 5) People at my new job 6) Future Goals 7) City Planning What’s wrong with solar

1-2-3 and … write…

I drive a Honda Civic that gets 30/35 mpg, I usually take the train to work, I ride my bike and walk to destinations when it’s “reasonable to me”, I try not to use very much electricity (and Maria will tell you that I love to get rid of phantom loads), I try to keep the apartment really cold during the winter, and I’ve given up the “adolescent” long hot shower. You could honestly say that all of that is a sorry attempt at trying to do my part, but really, I am trying - but I know I could do more.

My question: am I being responsible?

If I really want to save the earth from becoming uninhabitable, and save future generations from the mess we’ve made, should I really be conserving?

I’ve read a lot about the energy crisis, global warming, renewable energy, and responsible living. I’ve also learned a bit about resource/species depletion. I’ve come to realize that we as humans are pretty dumb. We managed to kill off all of the estimated 5 billion passenger pigeons in America (and on earth) between 1800 and 1914; we only stopped killing them because there were no more to kill. Between 1800 and 1885 we killed all but about 50 of the 50 to 65 million bison in America. We have a very solid history of depleting our resources, and I’m fairly convinced that reasoning nor consequences deter us from doing so. Why would it be any different for oil?

It has been different, but barely. We are starting to pass restrictive laws (led by the great state of CA), and we do have meager tax and rebate incentives on renewable energy systems/hybrid cars/efficient building products/appliances. A select few in this country (I am only talking about America here) have even changed how they live their lives for the sake of energy conservation/global warming/air quality/national stability. Honestly though, have we really done anything? Given our potential, I would say no, we haven’t.

I own a National Geographic magazine that doesn’t have the yellow border around the front cover; the cover doesn’t have the titles of a few articles of interest. The cover is a picture of an oil refinery with gases spewing out from it all over the place. These words are on the cover:

NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC

A special report in the public interest

ENERGY

Facing up to the problem, getting down to solutions

Articles inside the issue include: Our Energy Predicament, America’s Auto Mania, Can we live better on less?, Fewer imports;more conservation;innovative new sources, Harnessing the Wind, Electricity from the Sun, Wrestling Oil from Reluctant Rock, New Energy Frontier.

The issue begins with a note from the president of National Geographic; it ends as such: “A chief problem facing the new administration in Wahsington is devising an energy policy that encourages American economic growth while coming to grips with the international economic balances that are being so radically altered by the pressures of energy cost and social unrest.”

The date of this issue: February 1981.

Incredibly sad; none of us would be surprised to see this same issue today, with mostly the same articles and outlook as this 25-year-old issue.

If that wasn’t discouraging enough, a quote from Time Magazine, January 13, 1992

“If wind power does not fulfill its promise as a major energy source by the end of the century, it will not be a failure of technology. It will be a failure of vision on the part of society to make the necessary commitment.”

We have the knowledge; we have the technology; we have the capacity. We don’t act. Why? Because we don’t need to. There have yet to be any major consequences. Am I naive in believing that we will not cease to almost solely use oil/coal until we fully deplete our supply of oil/coal?

Instead of waiting another 1, 2, 3, or 4 decades for the depletion of oil (20 decades for coal), instead of fighting the resistance to change, instead of waiting for our population to understand, instead of waiting for automakers and power companies to give up on their number one goal (maximum profits), should we instead act in a way as to make it impossible not to change?

Should we not all drive Hummer H3’s to our job that is 1.5 hours away, keep our large homes at 80 deg. F during the winter, and keep all of our incandescent light bulbs on 24 hours a day? Should we not deplete our resouce as quickly as possible, so that we can create some actual change?

I know that the downside to this is that we may “overshock” our life-sustaining troposphere. But the CO2 we produce today stays up there for over 50 years anyway. What difference does it make if we burn up all of our oil in 10 years or in 40 years?

A few weeks ago I just had a crazy epiphany. I was sitting in a big open park on the north side of Chicago at a picnic table by myself. I think I was reading The Secret Message of Jesus. There was only one other person at the park; he was also reading…something good. I was in one of those contemplative moods, which I typically only enter into during a really provoking sermon at church. I think I was contemplative that day because it was a hard day. I had woken up to a call from my boss asking me to not come into work that day because he was not prepared for me to do a certain task; he’s pretty much an irresponsible mess. Being shunned from work, and with my cute wife off at school for the day, I just had to get away; I kind of felt like a dead log…or something. So I bundled up and took a 20-mile bike ride. 10 miles into my trip I stopped at the forementioned deserted park to read.

If you dig God, you may really enjoy seeing God in nature. So you, like myself, may enjoy (or only dream about taking) a standard national park tour vacation, a camping experience somewhere beautiful, a long hike, climbing…a mountain, or watching a simple sunrise. We love seeing God in nature. We love seeing what God has created. We might say “how can something this majestic not be created by a higher power?” or “how can something this beautiful be created by chance alone?” or “how could a tiny ant this small and complex not be made by some supernatural designer?” and “this has to have been created by God” and “I’m so thankful that I can be here to take all of this in, and really see what God has done.” I mean, that’s what goes through my head.

So my epiphany in that cold, decaying, dumpy park was…”holy crap, how can I not see God here??? or anywhere???…everything is freaking amazing…everything in this world is so so so huge, small, complex, interconnected, and different…with all of our asking to see him and wondering how we can see him, God has to be thinking that He might have somehow forgotten to give us eyes!! How can we not be floored by the magnificence of this world??”

If God were dead, I think He’d turn over in His grave every time one of us said “God, help us to see you.” He’d be like “what the crap else do you want me to do???” (although He’d say it a bit more patiently).

At the time I just jotted a few notes down: “Why do we think that we don’t see God here or have to look so so hard? What is wrong with our view of the world? Why are we not fascinated with how we see God here? Are we sedated with poor imaginations, pride, or just with rocks in our heads? Do we think we actually have this world figured out? Where do we get this audacity?”

I’m trying to figure out why it is so hard for us to see God.  How can we not be overtaken by the wonders of a…brick, paper clip, acorn, or remote control?…of gravity, heat rising, or photons?  Even man-made stuff - isn’t it utterly amazing that us robots with “minds of our own” can use what’s here and make stuff, even amazing things that most of us don’t even understand? If I can be in awe of a…paper clip…I think I can be one step closer to understanding the credit the God deserves.

maybe more to come…

Ben: Ben is about 40 years old and was dressed quite nicely in a clean sweatshirt and jeans. He was insulating his concrete living area under an overpass with some thin translucent plastic. He said he might not be staying there long, but was happy that someone else may reap the benefits of his insulating work when he leaves. Ben travels around the city during the day and collects scrap metal to sell to the local recycling/salvage yards. Ben may have had the standard “pickup with tall wooden walls” to collect his metal in. He may have alternatively used a grocery cart. Ben also ran errands for and visited his mother during the day; she lives in a nursing home.

Andy: I learned nothing about how Andy lived, lives, or wants to live. He was quite interested in Christianity/spirituality. Andy is an interrogator. His first question: do you know Jesus? (he knew we were Christians) My easy answer without getting into a complex theological discussion: yep. His response: do you know what he looks like? how can you say you know him if you don’t know what he looks like? He enjoyed his stumping question…and our confused responses. Andy had a book with a few poems (?) he had written in it. He was adament that he wrote the words on the paper, but that the words were not his; they were the words of an angel. Andy said that we couldn’t be in a constant conversation with Jesus because we were filling our lives with…our lives. He said that he was always in a continuous conversation with Jesus…because he wasn’t clogging up his life with usless endeavors. Andy was a bit crazy, and had some wacky ideas, but I think the world would be a better place if we all listened a bit closer to the wisdom he was conveying.

Brian and Jill: The couple looked to be in their 30’s, they had only been living under a bridge for a few months, they expected to be in an apartment in a few months, and they were 1 month pregnant. Brian worked at a local business for 11 years as a machine operator. His employer had to shut down for financial reasons and consequently Brian lost his job. Brian was now being employed by a clothing manufacturer through an employment agency.  The next day (Sunday) he was waking up a 3:30am to catch a city bus up to his job; he was hoping to work 15 hours that day.  Brian’s parents are no longer alive, and Jill’s parents wouldn’t invite them in; her siblings were shunning her because of her past drug addictions. Brian helped her get off coacaine by locking her in a room for 4 or 5 weeks. He felt terrible when doing it, but knew it was the right thing to do. Jill spent some time in prison, and became quite interested in the bible when there. During our visit she whipped out the bible and spent 15 minutes talking to one of our friends about it. Brian was incredibly happy Jill was sticking with him out on the streets. He knew that she really shouldn’t have been out there with him. The couple and another man slept together on a bed-sized (queen maybe) slab on concrete under the bridge, right next to the sidewalk; all they had between the three of them were a few blankets…and maybe one pillow.

Several months ago I received a quazi-belated birthday/Christmas gift from my friend Dave. It was a book written by Mike Yankoski and titled Under the Overpass. The book was altogether a very good, inspiring, eye-opening, and enteraining read. I read it in maybe two weeks, which for me was quite an outstanding accomplishment.

Mike writes about one of his summer breaks while in college. He and a semi-friend (the only other guy who was daring enough for the task and who didn’t care about how much cash he pulled in over the summer) decided to be homeless for their 3-month summer vacation. These guys were homeless in Denver, DC, Portland, San Diego, Pheonix and San Francisco. As I read the book and about them living and resting under overpasses, I consistently had a picture in my mind of them and the other homeless dudes camping out underneath a bridge that passed over a river, with nice grass in the park on either side of them, no traffic next to them…a little traffic over their heads, a nice little walking path along the river, and a scenic view to take in while they fished and hung out.

Maybe that’s not the kind of environment they were in.

My wife Maria (I’ll use the name Maria for sake of privacy) and I recently spent a night meeting homeless guys under the overpasses here in Chicago. We went with another guy from our church to give them food, talk to them a bit, and straight up just show them that we cared they were having a rough time. I learned that: living under an overpass is not nice…although it is pretty much the best place a homeless person can live…sucky. Overpasses in Chicago allow mass amounts of traffic to move freely on the interstates just above city-level. In most cases, there is a 7-foot fence to jump in order to actually get under the overpass. When inside the fence, you can walk up the steep incline to where the ground/incline meets the underside of the concrete bridge. In this crevis is where the homeless men sleep. The all have a bit of their area staked off, but their turf contains little besides a blanket (although one guy was insulating an area off for himself so that he could stay warm during the impending colder weather). There was quite a bit of garbage around, the smell of urine was rather strong, the “under the bridge” lights were pretty dang bright, and the sound of the traffic going over and under the overpass was…very loud. Honestly, the noise made it hard to talk with the people next to you.

And these guys sleep here…because it’s the best place besides a shelter to sleep. They don’t get wet when it rains or snows, it’s not too windy, the temperature stays warmer in the winter and cooler in the summer (b/c of the nearness to the ground/underground), no one will bother them up there behind the fence, and the police won’t kick them out or take their stuff.

I just think about how I live…and how they live.  How would I deal with sleeping under the overpass for just one night?  How would they feel staying in my apartment for a night…where it is very quiet, clean, warm…and a million other wonderful adjectives?

When I used to drive under overpasses in Chicago, I never thought once about looking up to the left or right to see if people were living under the bridge.  Now I think about it, and I look.  Hopefully soon I’ll think about people down there when I drive over the bridges; when I do I’ll likely feel sorry for making so much noise in a fellow Chicagoan’s home.

I love being outside, especially in open fields…and I bet I would thoroughly enjoy being in the magnificent open field shown in my vox header. I’d have to say that the only downside to being in that particular field is seeing the 3,000 ft.-long trench and dirt pile along it’s entire length. Is that the least adulterated field the vox people could find a pic of? Is it the most beautiful and serene? Maybe they wanted to show that even the most beautiful places on earth can’t withstand the evil hand of man. Maybe they want to shed some light on some environmental injustice. Maybe they didn’t notice the huge row of dirt…just a couple groundhog holes perhaps.

Either way, it’s my vox pic. I wanted a pic that was cheery and generally wonderful. I didn’t want to steel on of my friends’ pics. My friends have determined that if I were to ever blog, it would be about environmental justice anyway, so I guess the pic fits my blog…

perfectly.